King Dumpling

Once upon a time, there was a king who was called Dumpling the Third.
He was called Dumpling, because he he just loved to eat dumplings; and he was called the Third, because already his father and his grandfather had loved to eat dumplings.

For breakfast, the king was served a dish of apricot dumplings. At lunchtime, he had meat dumplings with bread dumplings. And for dinner, he bolted down fifteen plum dumplings.
After dinner, the king was so full, he couldnt even stand up. His servants had to roll him straight through the palace into bed. Sometimes, they didnt get round the corner and the king bumped into the wall. Fortunately, he was well-padded and so he bounced back like a bouncing ball, making a sound like "ploing!". "Ploingploingploing."
You could hear the "ploing" even on the streets, and people would say: "Listen! Our king is digesting his dumplings again."
"Do you know anything that tastes better than dumplings?", the king asked his servants when he awoke again.
"No, His Majesty", they answered because they thought that you must always agree with a king.

On his 30th birthday, the king ate twice as many dumplings as usual. A childrens choir sung the birthday-song: "Let him grow round, let him grow round, three times as round!" And the birthday cake was formed like a dumpling and it was covered all around with round candles.
And so the king had the idea to enact a law on eating dumplings. A herald placed himself in front of the palace and called all inhabitants of the country together. The horn players blared a march, and the soldiers lined up neatly in a row. Finally, the king rolled up along a red carpet.
"Who likes to eat dumplings?", he asked.
"I do. I do. I do!", the people cried, because they wanted to please the king on his birthday.
"That's wonderful", the king continued. "Because from now on, I forbid all the other awful dishes. In future, whoever is hungry, may satisfy their hunger only by eating dumplings!"
First, the people growled and grumbled, because they didnt want to do without bread and roast meat, pies and pudding. But the soldiers held up their spears, and the inhabitants cried out loudly: "Long live King Dumpling the Third!"
Afterwards, they went home and, with a sigh, started to cook dumplings.

The king, however, dedicated himself to eating and sleeping again. It therefore took a few weeks until he had a new idea. "My people loves dumplings just as I do and Im exceedingly pleased about that", he said. "In future, we will therefore only build houses in form of dumplings!"
As the people heard this they whispered, "The king is crazy!" And, "The kings a loony!" But they still called out loud, "Long live King Dumpling the Third!", because they were still frightened of the soldiers.
Of course, the king was delighted about their approval.
So next, he let cars be built in the form of dumplings. His gardeners had to trim trees and hedges in the form of dumplings. Even footballers had to play with a dumpling instead of a ball.
"Now he has gone totally mad", the inhabitants said. They even said that, when soldiers passed by.
But there was no holding the king back. "Dear dumpling friends!" he called, "From now on, we want to look like dumplings ourselves. If we stuff ourselves with enough dumplings, then were bound to manage this. Just take me as an example!"
"Booh!", the people cried.
"What did you say?", asked the king, taken aback.
"Booh!", they repeated.
Even a few soldiers cried out, "Booh!" The others did nothing, because they were so full with dumplings that they could hardly move.

After that, the people just deposed the king and elected a government, which is quite normal elsewhere.
They chased the king out of the palace and celebrated with soup and spaghetti and roast meat and pudding. Everybody was allowed to eat whatever they liked.
The king, however, was no longer a king and had to work. Because he hadnt learned anything, he worked as a night watchman in a vacuum cleaner factory.

With the money he earned there, he bought flour and meat and fruit and cooked his own dumplings. Of course, he ate far less now. And so, after dinner, he could ride to the factory on his bicycle.
Most of all, he loved a full moon night. He muttered: "You know whats good. You look like a dumpling yourself!"
And the moon couldnt even say anything against this.

(Translated by Jeanette Pacher)